One Last Cry
Happily Ever After happens when the prince accepts that Snow White has lived with seven men. Or when the prince spends the entire night dancing with Cinderella, not noticing her calloused hands.
Bella says that line should be something that gets passed on and remembered(:
Anyway,
long story short, there's no such thing as happily ever afters. For some perhaps, like Shawn and Yimin who i met yesterday with their baby boy. They've been dating since JC and hit like, the 8 or 10 year mark before getting married. They're also each other's first boyfriend and girlfriend.
Oh gawd, I can't even count the times we promised each other forever. Promised that, even if it didn't work out now, there'd still be a chance. Chrissy says that two people meet and they grow together, but half way through their paths take different turns. And when that time comes, you just say goodbye and move on.
Just say goodbye and move on.
There's this beautiful song called One Last Cry by Brian Mcknight i think.
Yet it is ironic at the same time because,
we don't have one last cry. Vee does though. She's strong and beautiful and amazing. I don't know how she does it sometimes.
I don't have one last cry. I say i will. I tell myself that I'm gonna say my last goodbye. It never comes.
Six months on I still wake up, reaching for my phone to see if he's texted.
He hasn't. And he won't. He doesn't anymore.
And i get these really sweet morning messages from other people that make me smile, because they really are sweet and they do make my day, but it's not him.
It's not him.
At night I still roll over, inhaling deeply what i believe to still be his smell. I curl up, pretending that he's right beside me.
Yea okay.
I messed up. I gave us that final push off the cliff and into nothingness.
But i have kept to my word since then.
I've been waiting to move on first, before I do. If i ever do.
So.
Now you're done, you're okay. And you like her.
It is talked about so lightheartedly that, you know, even I couldn't tell that i was dying on the inside. If i kept up laughing, i could've kept at it forever.
Do you know what hurts the most?
I wasn't like this. Sure, there was apart of me who was just that little bit needy and clingy, because everyone has that part in them i think.
But i wasn't the sort to promise forever if i thought i couldn't, I wasn't the sort who needed to see my boyfriend or girlfriend every single day. I wasn't so dependant. Never thought in the least, that i needed someone to be able to breathe.
Yet after a while, and two and half years is a while,
all that breaks down. Nothing else matters and anyway, it's all worth it. You'll spend forever with each other.
It kills me now, because I'm not that strong anymore. I let my guard down, and you in.
Few have understood it, but that whole mess i made, it's possible it was my subconscious pushing me, pushing you.
You'll brush these off as excuses of course. Really, I don't blame you.
Well there you have it.
And now, months after still holding on,
I'm told i can go now. Go on, scurry along now, there's someone else to love and,
it isn't you darlin'.
I can't do anything now, can I? It was my fault to begin with. At least, i made that final detrimental move that ended us completely.
What's there left to do, besides pick up the pieces, slap yourself for crying,
and move on
(c) xoxoCharis Vera @ 10:14:00 PM
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